It is an investment into your amazing relationship, and investments do take time. Do they make you laugh? Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. Like that yearbook from our awkward years, we all have things we hope our partner will never lay eyes on.
Self-love is about owning your greatness and uniqueness. You should also ask yourself: I love you, so today I choose to… eat healthy food, have some fun, exercise, go to bed early, have a bath, read a book etc. Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. It truly is a magical feeling. To magically stumble upon The One like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow that is being carried by a unicorn with leprechaun jockey. Healthy boundaries let others know where they stand with you and what is expected of them. Why do I feel like I can't trust him or her to be there for me? How can you do that? And you need to have your own identity beyond your spouse. Self-love is about claiming your desires. Is This the Real Thing? Have you both tackled your monsters? Do they make you laugh? Are you traveling the world with your spouse? What do you want them to believe? Are you fitting and conforming to some abstract idea of what you think they want? Healthy boundaries help you build healthy relationships. Healthy boundaries help you maintain a crucial sense of self. Okay, so hopefully you won't ever battle for your life World War Z-style, but and this is a corollary to the above question when things seem like they can't get any worse -- and then your car breaks down in the middle of a rainstorm while you're blocking an intersection -- who would you want to be there with you? Self-love is about knowing what you deserve and going for it without apologising. You need to know what kind of person you want to share your life with. Except now that your partner's looking at real estate listings and it's dawned on you that your days of eating egg sandwiches at the corner deli are numbered, you're starting to realize how much you hate weeding. It could dawn on you that your cold feet have nothing to do with the dream -- and everything to do with the person who comes along with it. In the getting-to-know-you phase, when we're presenting the very best, borderline-Stepford-wife version of ourselves, there are certain things we hold back.
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