You will most likely have ongoing contact with your husband after the divorce because of the children. When you start seeing someone else, it is like rubbing salt into your husband's wounds. Even if you ultimately get custody of your children, child support levels may be lowered because you are living with someone and sharing the expenses. If your boyfriend has past issues of domestic violence or charges of sexual misconduct proven or not , it will have repercussions in your divorce. The problem is that, no matter how long you may have been thinking about divorce, or how dead your marriage may be, while you are going through a divorce, you are still not at your best.
If you already have a full time job which you obviously need to keep because you now really need the money , that already leaves you with precious little time for your kids. Hiding your pain in a new romance may feel great for awhile, but, ultimately, it is nothing more than a temporary anesthetic. Under the law, you are considered to be legally married until a judge officially divorces you. If you date, your boyfriend may be open to scrutiny To top it off, a really vindictive husband might consider suing your boyfriend for alienation of affection. Studies have shown that the first relationship that a person enters into after a divorce has little chance of long-term survival and will rarely end in marriage. Spousal support ends when you move in with a new partner. Dating during divorce can reduce the amount of spousal support you receive. In states that recognize fault in a divorce case, dating during divorce can be viewed as adultery. Even if you ultimately get custody of your children, child support levels may be lowered because you are living with someone and sharing the expenses. When you and your spouse are trying to make a parenting plan, each of you assumes that the other will be alone with the children during your scheduled parenting time. Instead, your spouse will opt for monthly payments. New relationships, even casual dating relationships, take time … often a LOT of time. You need time to discover that you can make it on your own without a man to support you emotionally or financially. What better to take your mind off your misery, and boost your flagging self esteem, than a few dates with someone who is actually interested in you? Trading a bigger property settlement for spousal support makes for a clean break. The bottom line is that if you date during your divorce, you are giving your husband a big advantage. If he truly is as special as you think, then he will be willing to wait. This will put your boyfriend smack-dab in the middle of your divorce, which is a quick way to put a damper on your new relationship. If you have children, then you also need to realize that it's in your best interest to try to keep a cordial relationship with your husband. At first blush, embarking on a new relationship might seem like exactly what you need to forget about your pain. If you are having sex with someone else before you are divorced, you may technically be committing adultery. It would be a shame to forfeit your future support on a relationship that may not last. All of this makes reaching a reasonable parenting agreement infinitely more difficult. Considering Dating During Divorce Anyway? Don't sacrifice your future on a new relationship. You need to be especially careful if you have children from your marriage.
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